just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
