And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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