Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
