these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
