can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
