i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Randomize
