Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
you made out with another girl for some wings
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
