And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
