I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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