How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
