If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
