So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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