Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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