boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
