I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize