The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
