I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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