so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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