So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
