u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
