well most of my day revolves around power hour
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
