I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
