Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
