nut hugger
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
My life is pants optional.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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