She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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