Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
