508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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