My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
