How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
