"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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