I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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