Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
