I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i barfeds in our rink
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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