If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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