i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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