the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
