She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I FOUND THE LEGS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
