I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
