so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
