the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Screwed.edu
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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