I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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