I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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