Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
