Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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