Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Randomize
