I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
