just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
