Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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