I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Someone came in the potted fern
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
