im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
bring money and cleavage
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
