I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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