Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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