I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
