We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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